


Memories

by NoraBlack14



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Female Ian Gallagher, Sad, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoraBlack14/pseuds/NoraBlack14
Summary: She would never forget the feeling of cold hands touching her.





	Memories

Its funny actually that no matter how many times she dressed as a man, no matter how many times she shaved off her hair or wrapped her chest, she would never forget the feeling of cold too big hands on her waist. Never. Every time the mirror looks back at her she flinches knowing that there were cracks in her eyes where there was only supposed to be emeralds. Everyday’s the same. Breathe. Just breathe. No one else remembers. Only her and her family. The secrets painted on her back through the lashed scars and printed into her hips where bruises long faded could still be felt. Muscle and scars wrapped her weary bones, knowing of she ever stopped she would remember. Remember the feel of the belt digging into soft flesh, the feel of knives and pain where the skin had barley given way. So she stood, and slipped on the old ace bandages with a grimace. Chest constricting against the normalcy of ribs being crushed together and lungs being pressed too tightly. Army boots thudding against the stained floor as the door swung shut behind her, shirt being pulled over her head. The stairs creaked with every step and the walls were too close together to walk past without brushing her shoulders against them. Stepping around toys and entering the small dingy kitchen she smiled at the familiar flurry of activity. “Ian! Breakfast!” Fiona called over from the kitchen counter from where she was hastily putting together two peanut butter sandwiches for Debbie and Carl. “Nah,” she said kissing little Liam on the head as she walked past. “I’m late already and the Sergeant will kill me if I miss another session. Bye!” The girl called out over her shoulder as another door swung shut behind her. The ground was covered in old leaves from fall but most of them had at least been moved off the streets by the ongoing cars. The few trees that were actually in this part of Chicago had a few new leaves on them that had come with the beginning of spring three weeks ago. Army boots crushing the leaves as she started to sprint through the city, cutting through yards and dodging sporadic drunks which had made the ground there bed for the night after leaving whichever they got wasted in. “IAN!” Blurry. Why was everything blurry. She was just on her way to school. Blood. Red. It was all over her thighs again. Just like when he touched her. Why? This, this, this wasn’t right. “IAN!” Wake up. It’s a dream. A dream. Remember. Remember. Remember. No no no no no no. Stop. Please. “WAKE UP!” Air. She was gasping as if she had been drowning. Hands held her pinned to the bed. No no no no no. Stop. Not again. “STOP! LET ME GO!” Screams of desperation ripped themselves from her throat. The hands disappeared from around her shoulders and suddenly Lips voice was in her ears. “Shh, it’s ok. It’s ok. Breathe with me ok? Big breathes, you’re doing so good.” Lip, it was just Lip. Her big brother. He wasn’t here. Not anymore. Gone forever buried in the bottom of the river like a dirty little secret. One only her family and her knew about. He would never hurt her or her siblings again. She exhaled as the soft whispering in her ear soothed her racing heart. “He’s dead Ian, I promise you that bastard is rotting at the bottom of the river. With six rounds in his head. Just where he belongs.” Lip was always there. Always her stable rock she could always count on being there when things got messy. He was the one to tackle him off of her when they walked in on him hurting her. He was the one to beat him down. He was the one who grabbed the loaded gun and took the first shot, straight between the eyes. And the second, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, only giving the gun up for the very last shot. He gave it to Ian and asked if she wanted to. He was her protector, her savior, her hero. That man was never to be seen again because of him. And she was forever grateful for her big brother, who now shared his bed with her every night, who never let anyone hit her, and when she came home with a black eye he grabbed the bat and bashed the boys leg in who gave it to her. He was the one woke her from her nightmares, who helped her through her ptsd and who saved her every day by simply being there. Nobody would ever hurt his baby sister again. Not Frank not bullies not the boy next door not the police, no one. Not ever again. He was her protector and no one would ever lay hands on her again. His abby sister would forever stay that, through high school, throughout college, throughout life, she was his to protect. Never again. Never again Nobody would ever touch her again. Never again.Never again.


End file.
